Grab Stress by the Scruff of the Neck

Banish Stress

Banish StressStress infiltrates every aspect of life. It can sneak up on you while you are oblivious to its presence, it can destroy your sense of peace, strip away your ability to think and act with any coherent sense and leave you feeling weak and ineffectual. It destroys focus, chips away at the immune system and it increases your potential to be downright irritable.  I’d like to say there’s nothing good about stress but actually, there is. Your stress response – (fight or flight) can save your life. It sharpens up your alertness so that you can respond to perceived dangers and, it can also make you work to your maximum potential (think exam stress) or, be off the starting blocks like lightning (think athletics) so, there are times when stress can work for you.

But, for the majority of us, stress is like an evil entity. It doesn’t matter how good your life, it can still invade without warning and create havoc, emotionally and physically. So, what can you do? The answer is to stand up and fight back. When I say you need to take these daily stressors by the scruff of the neck and shake them, I’m not kidding. Without taking a proactive approach, stress may ebb and flow, but don’t trust it, nor should you turn your back when you think that any situation is easing. It’s only waiting for a moment of weakness and it will pounce. Believe me, stress doesn’t just dissipate on its own, it waits to regain its strength and then it forms into a hideous monster that not only destroys your ability to experience peace and harmony during the day, but it manifests into some obscure creature that steals your sleep from you too. If you thought bedtime horrors were a thing of the past, think again. Stress, in all it’s glory can taunt you and prod you until you awaken with bloodshot eyes, all disorientated and dreading the day. Stress Management

While I write this, a little tongue-in-cheek, you know that the words are still honest. Stress invades lives and, it can ruin them. When you are stressed, your words are likely to be a little more sharp, you’ll be irritable to anyone who dares approach. When stress doesn’t decrease, this behaviour continues, you’ll offend or upset friends and family, the very people who are likely to be on your side. You won’t sleep, so work will suffer. Your productivity will reduce as will your focus. Your ability to communicate effectively will dramatically become impaired because you are tired and, oh yes, your perception will be off kilter too. You are not alone in this. Many people are weighed down by the pressure of unresolved stressors. But stress also damages you physically too. You may feel nauseous, anxious, tearful or develop headaches, tension in the neck and shoulders or, conditions such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). But this is only the tip of a huge iceberg. Unresolved stress can kill. Remember, your mind and body must work together in unison, stress only fragments your balance in life. Equilibrium becomes a thing of the past.

The only way to recover and to embrace a normal and healthy life again is to grab stress by the scruff of the neck and resolve it. Yes, it means facing up to your problems. Don’t shy away, don’t bury your head in the sand, do something about it. You will feel a million times better. But there’s more that you can do too. You can learn powerful, effective stress management tips. You can build the foundations of your life so that you are no longer struggling to survive, but thriving whatever life throws at you. But you must take action, I may be biased but a great starting point for stress management techniques is published below. Well, you have to start somewhere……

by Annette Young

The 7-Day Stress-Busting Action Plan comes in.

Why  not take a sneaky look at the solution right here?

 

Stress Management Tips

 

Psst. Don’t click on the image, click on the text link. Here you are. CLICK HERE.

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The Truth About Victim Mentality

Don't be a victim

by Annette Young

We probably all know people who play the victim so well. Yet, these individuals may be unaware that they are doing so. 

Consider this – it  may even be you.

So how does victim mentality actually start. Many of our behaviours are learned organically from our parents, our peers or, from other authority figures, but this is not necessarily the source unless you have witnessed someone close to you playing the blame game. Often, individuals begin to regard themselves as victims of life due to the behaviours of those around them even if there is no evidence to support this. Of course, sometimes, we all suffer as a result of another person’s negative behaviour but that doesn’t automatically create victim mentality where habitual thought processes become the norm.

Many blame their misfortune on others. They didn’t get the job, they didn’t have a pay rise, they lost out in love etc. These are all everyday scenarios but the victim is likely to blame these losses on the successful individual being luckier than them. They won’t necessarily consider that in order to achieve they should try harder or work smarter. After all, every day, there is the potential to achieve success or to fail in life.

Sometimes we lose out due to the misdeeds of others and this is known as victimism.  

You may notice those close to you playing this role. Perhaps they exude a sense of cuteness or, it’s a practiced role that they perform well. At the core of this behaviour,  there is intent – whether a conscious decision or a subconscious behaviour.

There are lots of signs to look out for:

  • Displaying heightened attention levels when with others
  • Believing that others are always luckier, happier or more successful
  • Attaching negative intentions in relation to others
  • Unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions
  • Gaining pleasure through feeling sorry for themselves
  • Gaining sympathy through relaying somewhat exaggerated stories about their situation or the misdeeds of others.

Playing the victim leads anywhere but to success. If you find yourself slipping into victim mode, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it’s a coping mechanism in the main. It enables you to accept failings before they even occur. Change is important – so, determine to monitor your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. No-one needs to stand behind the actions of others, it’s far more important to take ownership of your own actions than to blame those around you, even if on some occasions, it’s true.

Wouldn’t you rather be master of your own destiny rather than leaving the fate of your successes in the hands of others? Of course. Playing the victim and never taking the control of any real situation is a negative behaviour but one that can be changed. Self-help in respect of victim mentality works, it’s a case of changing negative thoughts so that you have a more positive outlook. It’s about accepting failures through your own doings rather than blaming others. It’s about taking ownership of your life and forging your own way in life, standing by your choices. Victim mentality is self-defeating, if you struggle to escape the clutches of this behaviour, seek out a professional counsellor or, try CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

Awareness is a wonderful starting point.

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